I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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