So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
