Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
