Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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