glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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