Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
