Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
