its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
