it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF