It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do