They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana