Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.