So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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