her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
