My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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