Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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