I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
