forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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