HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
