There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
