Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
