Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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