youre lurking in front of me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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