Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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