During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
