It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
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there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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