I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
