I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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