you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize