dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
