We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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