I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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