I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
did you just send me my own nude
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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