You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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