i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
