I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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