Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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