why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
