i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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