Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
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he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
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Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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