I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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