Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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