you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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