I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
