Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
