I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
