last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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