that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
