I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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