i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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