i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize