they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
