Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
