Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
