i just wanna soil my oats bro
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
