Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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