gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
