somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
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His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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