I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
