I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
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oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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