I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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