he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
