I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
